Wednesday, 14 August 2013
I have no objection to this gold Burberry baby snowsuit. When you are young, you can get away with it.
Yesterday I was sat cross-legged on a mat in a hall. I was there for my - much-loved - pregnancy yoga class and after too many hours sat on an uncomfortable chair by a desk at home, I was prepared for my vertebrae to be tweaked one by one, limbs stretched and mind relaxed. As a draft whistled under the door and through the room, curling up one side of a piece of paper, to use a cliche: it hit me.
Just a few weeks ago we were all sweltering in the balmy heat, rubbing our aching, swollen feet and celebrating the ferocious air con. And at the very beginning, when I started pregnancy yoga, it was utterly freezing. My fingers were blue from the winter's chill and I was layered with jumpers and a thick blanket during the relaxation exercises. Now it feels like it's getting a little bit autumnal. Not really (obviously), but the nights are starting to draw in a tad and after we had that blast of summer in July, mid-August seems... like its getting ready, preparing for colder times.
Now, I for one absolutely love autumn, for a whole variety of reasons. It's birthday season for myself and the man tiger, I adore autumn wear, LOVE it. Boots, new coats and knitwear. Glorious. The skies are pretty and red (sometimes), nature is golden and red ('tis), new starts can occur, berry liquors and apples scent the air and the summer sun is still warm on the skin.
But. That means I have gone through winter, spring and now nearly summer/autumn crossover. That's a whole year nearly, being pregnant. I know this makes sense, as nine months is nearly a year and I am nearly at nine months, so this... makes. sense. However, it feels surreal. A whole year has nearly passed, a year that I am conscious about, as I have felt every week - and yet it's whistled by and will soon be gone, like a wave washing in and then retreating. It feels like yesterday that we were in Cornwall, wrapped up against the January freeze, the morning sickness first hitting me like a rocket to my whole being. Lying on the sofa, unable to move, looking at food (apart from carbs) like it was alien fuel. Staring out to the sea. Still unsure that it was real.
Now, I have a baby thwacking me all day and all night. Making me have to sit further away from my desk, because it keeps hitting it. Yesterday, I saw and felt a little hand pop out. I'd not seen that before, it was a tiny little fist. I felt proud. It feels incredible and although I am now pretty uncomfortable (NIGHT TIME), I am cherishing this time, so close to my baby. Keeping it warm as the autumnal winds sweep over us.