Thursday, 30 May 2013


Ava, showing off her fangs - Instagram @helsmartin
My love for cocopops with full fat milk has reached a new level. After three bowls yesterday and still pining for more, I have porridge with me today in an effort to stop such sugar consumption. Still bringing an entire bag of 'lunch' to work everyday, still having the little fidghter adoring a mighty wriggle as I try and sleep. Which actually, I love. The spud definitely loves cocopops too, as I always feel little somersaults after I've just inhaled a bowl. 

At the mo, we are trying to sort out all the bits and bobs we need for the kiddo. I have an Amazon bag rammed with stuff, with C systematically deletes of an evening. £40 muslin cloths, yeh? I'm not doing it don't worry, but I can't say I haven't been tempted by the sweet animal / patterned designs and promise of bamboo goodness. Every purchase is considered these days and as a result we have found we are actually saving as perhaps we should have done pre preg. But the impetus is definitely more profound - rather than holiday gallivants, it's all about the kid. 

Emphasised when we went to the shops for some last minute bits for our upcoming holiday and found ourselves in the baby section, finding mini he and mini me outfits. Couldn't help it, the excitement is strong. Boy/Girl? Couldn't tell you. I still think boy. I managed to purchase some animal print pjs for myself. They make me happy. Just like rest does. I love rest, so, so much. 

Tuesday, 21 May 2013


* Two hen do weekends in a row: Pots of silver and gold, sparkling glitter; foil wedding dresses; red faces; sugar rushes; chinking glasses, knees up and dancing florals; walks and stories, beaches and hills; elaborate fantastical outfits; cackling laughter echoing for miles; photo snapping, poses aplenty; cucumber sandwiches and delicate treats; bubbling hot tubs; steaming bathrooms; crafting wings and sharing lives. 

* An old school fair: On the only day that displayed some warmth so far this year, how lucky they were – last year was a wash out. This time, the air was scented with sweet popcorn, doughnuts and coffee, combined with the intoxicating blossom, creating a hazy mist of deliciousness. We lolled on the grass, sat back with iced drinks and did little else at all. 

* At The Chapel: I went here the other day after a work meeting. Extraordinarily high ceilings, walls painted white and a bakery at the entrance. The food is traditional, but with clever somethings added. Flavours that quietly astonish, combinations you can't quite put your finger on. Kevin McCloud was sat opposite and he seemed quite content. 

* Buggy: I had no idea at quite the quantity of choice for buggies out there. Pushchairs are big business, I knew, but how do you know what is right - does it twist backwards, forwards, cram in your car? Can you fly with it, will its wheels fall off? What about the level of recline? And car seats, will one of these attach? Oh, only if you buy this one and that one isn't that great. Difficult. Expensive. Suffice to say we have purchased one and soon after decided we loved it, then argued about it and now we are happy with it. 

* External stuff: Apart from the job, I am doing all sorts of bits and bobs, including a sideline business. I always have enjoyed cramming things in, but I am now getting hugely excited about the prospect of the kid project and just before it makes an appearance - maybe, just chilling out. Focusing on the kid. 

* Helping with the above is pregnancy yoga, which is fabulous. It honestly feels like my whole vertebrae is being tweaked out, one by one. Then add on a massage and some amazing breathing techniques. I think when you start breathing deeply, you realise that you weren't breathing properly at all before. A deep breath is a brilliant, free medicine. 

Thursday, 9 May 2013

flower market

I am nest building like a wild person at the moment. Cleaning every spot in the house with apple smelling Cif, dusting and demanding we make an inventory of everything we own and everything we need. Apparently, a kid needs a lot. I have also been building my own virtual house. It's clear as a crystal chandelier that I'll be 100 (and probably still working) before I can afford a house like I want. On top of this, I have been moaning to M Tiger about all the sheer amount of stuff I have to do. He tells me to cut some of it out and then I admit, I do actually want to do all of the stuff I'm banging on about in my life and eventually I realise I should shut up and be grateful. It's just because I get exhausted after doing everything. Then I snap. He says he was warned about this snap from other father men. So I am making a concerted effort to take chill time, not stress and spend quality time with him. Whether he wants to or not.

To be fair, I enjoy most things we do and I KNOW we have a bloody nice life. One thing I enjoyed recently was the Columbia Road Flower Market. Think, an enormous abundance of flowers, clustered together in a world of natural colour, soft petals and proud, wispy and bendy stems. The sounds of shouting bargains, with London East End accents, "Fiver! Get these for a FIVER! £11.99 in Marks and Spencers! A Fiver. Fiver." It was utterly packed and I was enamoured. To make it even more stupendous, there were little shops filled with trinkets along the road, and coffee, deli and cake shops, smoke swirling from the coffee cups, the scent of ten thousand flowers and plants in the air. I couldn't decide between the peonies, ranunculus, roses, orchids, 50 tulips (for a tenner!), or the clusters of hydrangeas. I went for the light pink roses, an orchid and some of those sticks with the little buds as soft as rabbit ears... can't think of their name right now. All for £14. I've heard if you go around 2pm, you will get the  even more bargain, bargains. I want to go back and stock up a garden's worth of plants. When I get my OWN garden, maybe. For now, flowers are fabulous.

Pink, pink rrrroses!

Friday, 3 May 2013


Wouldn't it be fab to be surrounded by towering plants of differing shades of a vibrant green. Sitting on your deckchair-type seat, looking out through your clear glass, window walls to the moving, growing, immersive wallpaper. And just be. Be – not busy. Or not feeling like you should be busy, as your damn lists spiral like Japanese bindweed. Just to 'be', is underrated.

After a very full week, it's time to take a step back. I keep thinking how when the kid makes its no doubt grand appearance, everything will change and I won't be able to 'just be', this post and my 'be' times will become a strange sort of obscure memory.

I have resolved to try and have a million, bazillion adventures with the kid, but also to try and have some peaceful times. Probably for my own sanity, but also because this child 'o mine need to know that it's good to inspire your own adventures. As I was told by children's author, Jacqueline Wilson earlier this week, an imagination is one of the best and most valuable things. And a kid's can be the most vivid and exciting. When peace rumbles through the house and land, that's when the stories and imagination can run a riotous dance.

This week, I also heard: A BBC guest ranting about kid = goat. BBC Susannah said she calls her kids 'kittens'. I like kid.